She had pendulous breasts - the girl I was 'seeing to' back in 1980. Righto, now I've got your attention, get a load of this...
This week's posts of music by thirst-quenching new bands Art Brut and The Arctic Monkeys - and their impact on the 16-21 year olds of today - has brought about a warm, swelling surge of reminiscence within me.
In Cold War Britain circa 1980, (don't glaze over - you youngsters), when Nuclear oblivion sat like a rabid bulldog just around the pub corner, The Piranhas were a "you have to laugh, or else you'll cry" shaft of golden sunlight in a dark and dangerous world. Indeed, doing a 500-strong beer-stained Conga to 'Tom Hark' around the concert halls of GB whilst waiting for The Jam to come on was an ideal antidote to the 4 minute warning.
Brighton's 'Boring' Bob Grover led the ever-so-friendly and downright 'normal' Piranha boys - who's number included drummer Dick Slexia and the exotically named saxophonist Zoot Alors. (Holidays on the Continent were still a far-off luxury for most Brits, with poncey croissants and cappuccino almost unheard of). Other stripey T-shirt wearing wicked wit and energy merchants of the time included Attila The Stockbroker and Bad Manners. Once again, it was (Saint) John Peel giving them the priceless airtime/oxygen of publicity. (I reckon he'd have gone a bundle on Arctic Monkey by the way).
I vaguely recall - thru' a lager-that-tasted-like-lemonade haze - that this track "Getting Beaten Up (Is Part Of Growing Up)" was coupled with the song "(No Thanks, I'm Waiting For My) Boyfriend" - a line that was (and perhaps still is) the stock answer given by girls when asked if they would like a drink.
The Piranhas one and only eponymous 1980 album (SIRE SRK6098) can be found on vinyl at http://www.musicstack.com/tsearch/piranhas/piranhas. Strangely though, the more recent 're-issue' CD on the Anagram label is, sadly, not all it seems. The titles are much the same but are chiefly demo-tracks that pre-date the Sire album and are not how you may remember them. That said, it's far far better than unemptied dustbins, unemployment and a fuckin' Winter of Discontent!
Interesting link at http://www.stockaitkenwaterman.com/artists/pira01.htm
More Brighton (& Hove) happenings at the fine http://www.punkbrighton.co.uk/index.html